Sponge bath it is.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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