I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
