And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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