Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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