Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
