Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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