and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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