At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
