Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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