i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
