i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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