It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
