i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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