I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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