yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
