Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
