Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
