It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
