You're so nebulous sometimes
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
