No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
