Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
