Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
