the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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