P.S. I can't hear my feet
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
