dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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