The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
