I will die if light touches me.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
