Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can text with my tongue
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
