Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
