Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
