So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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