is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
