i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
