i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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