NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
