cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
