at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
