piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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