Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Such a big mess for such a small penis
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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