Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
