he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
