i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
