I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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