Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
