The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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