Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
