How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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