Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
