remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
