turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
