Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
