i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
home. puking in laundry basket.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
