Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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