I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
